Before You Say “Happy Memorial Day,” Please Pause

Memorial Day is commonly greeted with well-intentioned but misplaced cheerfulness. This day, however, calls for a deeper recognition of its solemnity and significance. It's an occasion for remembrance and honor, rather than for celebration.

All gave some and some gave all.

The True Meaning of Memorial Day

A few days ago, while collaborating with Veterans Villages of America (V2A) founder COL Mike Ross, U.S. Army, retired, an incident unfolded that shifted my perspective. COL Ross received a text from a friend wishing him a 'Happy Memorial Day.' Though he wasn’t offended, recognizing the sender's good intentions, he took a moment to share with me a crucial insight. In a patient and reflective tone, he explained why the phrase 'Happy Memorial Day' might not resonate appropriately with veterans or those who have lost loved ones in service. This perspective I had never considered before, opened my eyes to the deeper nuances of this solemn day.

COL Ross shared with me, 'Veteran’s Day is a time to acknowledge all who have served in the military. In contrast, Memorial Day is distinctly a day of remembrance, specifically established to honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice for our nation’s freedom.” COL Ross continued, “While it is a national holiday, its true purpose is far from celebratory. It is a day dedicated to remembering our fallen heroes and extending our deepest respects to their families - those who have lost sons, daughters, siblings, and parents in the line of duty.” His words painted a vivid contrast between the two holidays, underscoring the profound significance of Memorial Day.

A Personal Awakening

At that moment, a personal revelation struck me. Here I was, 43 years old, and for as long as I could remember, Memorial Day had been a day of rest and leisure, a time for softball tournaments or lakeside trips. Somewhere along the way, the true significance of the day, undoubtedly taught in my early school years, had faded into the background of my consciousness. This oversight, I realized, might be a common blind spot for many of us, lost amidst the routines of everyday life.

“Many people make the mistake of saying ‘Happy Memorial Day,’ but the day has lost its meaning over the years,” said COL. “It’s a day to remember those who died while serving our country during combat.”

Rediscovering Memorial Day

What struck me was the realization that I lived much of my childhood in the home of my World War Two, purple heart recipient grandfather (PaPa) and spent the past year working for a mission focused on veteran advocacy, and even in my position, with veterans all around me, I almost went into Memorial Day 2023 blind.

COL Ross reflected, “Many people inadvertently say ‘Happy Memorial Day,’ not realizing that its true essence has been overshadowed over time.” He continued, “It's a day of solemn remembrance for those who have fallen in combat, serving our nation.”

My appreciation and gratitude for our nation’s veterans are immense, feelings I believe many of my readers also hold. But it often requires moments of reflection to fully appreciate the depth of certain realities. This happened to me. I had inadvertently lost sight of the true essence of Memorial Day. However, this newfound awareness led to the most memorable and impactful Memorial Day I've experienced.

Experiencing the Solemnity

Initially, I was apprehensive about attending an official Memorial Day event, a commitment stemming from my role at V2A and my connection with COL Ross. Honestly, the prospect didn't excite me; it felt more like an obligation than a choice. But I saw it as a learning opportunity, not just for myself but also for my son. Reluctantly, we both set out to partake in this solemn event.

What we encountered there was transformative. The Memorial Day event, rich in tradition and reverence, was a profound experience. Surrounded by families and loved ones of the fallen, veterans, and fellow citizens, we were immersed in a ceremony that was as humbling as it was honoring. The gravity of sacrifice and the depth of gratitude resonating there were palpable.

The Commemoration Ceremony at Fayetteville National Cemetery, which we attended with COL Ross, turned out to be a poignant and heart-touching experience. Witnessing the genuine respect and sorrow for the lives sacrificed in the name of freedom was deeply moving. It made us reflect on the liberties we often take for granted, including the simple freedom to choose how we spend Memorial Day.

A New Perspective on Freedom

This experience at Fayetteville was eye-opening. It brought me and my eleven-year-old son face to face with the real essence of the holiday, fostering a sense of empathy and appreciation that we hadn't fully grasped before. Today, our gratitude for the freedoms we enjoy is far greater and more heartfelt than ever.

As guests watched the ceremony, a man in the background had an intimate moment at the grave of a lost loved one.

The Importance of Education and Remembrance

Memorial Day isn't confined to any specific location; its observance can happen anywhere, as long as we're mindful of its profound significance. From my own experience, particularly this year's ceremony at the Fayetteville National Cemetery, I've come to understand that Memorial Day is much more than a welcome day off. It's a day imbued with deep meaning, a reminder of the sacrifices that underpin our freedoms. This realization, shared with my son, has enriched our sense of responsibility as beneficiaries of liberties we often take for granted.

In this spirit, COL Ross advocates a crucial role for parents: to teach our children about the real significance of Memorial Day. He suggests we make this learning engaging and interactive, ensuring it's not just informative but also memorable and meaningful. It's about helping the younger generation grasp the immense value of what we have, all thanks to the bravery and sacrifices of those who gave everything for our country. It's a lesson in gratitude and respect, reminding us that our status as 'the land of the free and the home of the brave' is a legacy handed down through immense sacrifice.

COL Ross concluded our conversation with the deeply moving lyrics from Billy Ray Cyrus's song 'Some Gave All,' encapsulating the essence of Memorial Day: “All gave some. Some gave all. Some stood through for the red, white, and blue, and some had to fall. And if you ever think of me, think of all your liberties and recall…some gave all.” These words resonated within me, serving as a powerful reminder of the sacrifices made for our freedoms.

For a deeper reflection on this message, I invite you to watch the video below, 'Some Gave All,' which captures the spirit of what we honor on Memorial Day.

Memorial Day is more than a holiday; it’s a day of remembrance and honor. At Veterans Villages of America, we strive every day to uphold the legacy of those who gave their all. Your support enables us to continue this mission, offering care and respect to our nation's heroes. Join us in this solemn commitment by clicking here to donate. Your contribution aids us in honoring the sacrifices made for our freedoms on a daily basis, extending beyond just Memorial Day.

Disclaimer: Our blog focuses on representing veterans by sharing their stories. Please note that these are personal accounts and may not include comments from all sides, as our role is not to seek out or present opposing viewpoints.